Time: Saturday, October 29, 2022, 6 PM
Location: Comic Strip Live, UES
Three days have passed since my first open mic, and it is time for another open mic, apparently.
You might wonder where I am from, I am from Antarctica.
The crowd is not impressed. Why did I think it was funny?
Have you ever wondered where Squirrels…
I struggle to pronounce the word due to not being an American, the crowd finds that funny and I get some unexpected bonus laughs.
Have you ever wondered where Squirrels make babies? Where do Squirrels have intercourse? where Squirrels are smedilidening their deliedening?
I get laughs for the last description.
I think about it all the time. I thought about it last week, yesterday, and right now. I will think about it next week as well.
Silence.
My grandfather, who was from Antarctica as well, used to sit by himself in the kitchen every midnight. He would just think like that.
For the next 30 seconds, I am acting as someone thinking with facial expressions. No one finds it funny. The punch line is not appreciated as well.
Then he said, “What can you do”.
He used to know the guy who wrote Game Of Thrones. What’s his name? George R. R. R. R. R. rah rah rah rah rah la la ulah la lahh bad romance
I get some pity laughs for weirdness.
Some songs are weird. For example the song “I am free, free fallin”
I sing it and get unexpected laughs before the punch line.
Who would pay to fall? I don’t pay attention because I am Jewish and it is not free.
Silence.
Or the song Yesterday by the Beatles.
I go on a ramble explaining how this song is about a guy who is sad for a girl who left him and she didn’t say why. And how ridiculous I find that. No one in the crowd is interested.
You know what pisses me off? Young people
Someone laughs.
Young people with canes.
I talk about how some young people use canes for fashion purposes and how I don’t like them. I get a few chuckles. I tell another joke about how I don’t like handmade yogurts from whole foods and I rather machine-made ones. No one is interested.
To end, did you know the Q train is running under central park?
Some people in the audience know that fact.
And that is where Squirrels make babies.
Some laughs. This is my time for tonight. Not a great set. But surely worse ones will come in the future.